Thursday, January 30, 2014


I don't know about all families, but I know that when I was growing up my family was very close. Maybe not my whole family, but still. I know that I was close to my moms baby brother and his kids, and then with my dads family. Even though my dad was in prison pretty much my entire childhood, until I was 18 or 19 to be exact, his family ALWAYS welcomed my mom and I and I am telling you, that is where some of my most favorite times.
I honestly do not remember a single weekend of my childhood where I was not with them at some point. We did everything together, and we did absolutely nothing together as well, but it was still a blast.
We had family reunions, every year, and being that that side of my family is/was in to music, there was almost always a guitar brought out, and everybody would sing songs. It was amazing and I miss that so much.
I feel like not only my kids, but probably so many kids in this crazy world, are missing out on making the kind of memories that me and my cousins made. Everybody is living life in the fast lane and it seems like we just honestly do not make enough time for life. We all need to slow down and make some time to make memories. I know that my husband I are going to start making more time and making great memories for my kids. They are honestly blessed to have such a great stepdad, and although they don't always show it, the both tell me all the time that they are glad to have him in their lives. I can assure you that this year will be a blast for them, and they will have some awesome memories of this year...even though it started off rough, 2014 will be a year they won't soon forget, if ever!!!!!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Do gooders...PISS ME OFF!

I am not always the kindest person, but I do often try to be. When I see that someone is struggling and I know that there is something that I can do to help, 9 times out of 10, I am going to do what I can.
Recently I had a friend who's sister passed away of breast cancer after several YEARS of fighting. Through all of the fighting, and the loss of their mother, and all of the struggles, NONE of her (the one fighting for her life) friends stepped up and really offered any help. After seeing some posts that my friend had made on Facebook, I decided I would step up and help the best that I could. We started planning a benefit, and of course everybody wanted to help out immediately...until it came down to it. Through most of the planning there was only one person helping me out. Fine. Whatever. The thing that pissed me off the most, in the beginning anyway, was that one of the people that wanted to help and was all gun-ho, backed out, and that is fine, if you don't want to help that is fine. You don't know these people, blah blah...But the way that you did it, and the timing...bitch, you ain't nothing but a do gooder and you are only going to do something if YOU can benefit from it. I have seen that already. I read your bullshit post on Facebook everyday about paying it forward, but again, you only want to pay it forward if you benefit from it. You know what, FUCK YOU! There is a special place in hell for people like you.
Throughout this process, others did step up and help, some ended up not being able to finish due to illness, and I get that. That is fine. It is what it is.
In the end, the biggest thing that pissed me off...people trying to take credit for shit they had NOTHING to fucking do it. Let it be known that I couldn't give a shit less if anybody knows that I helped someone out, but trust me when I say that I would NEVER try to take credit for ANYTHING that I did NOT do. Because I am not a do gooder, I am NOT going blast anybody, or state exactly what I am talking doesn't matter in the end because I know what happened, what is right, what is wrong, what is fact and what is lies. This whole experience has made me realize that I need to think twice before helping out, and maybe 3 or 4 times about the people I let "help" me.


So now that it seems like my life is slowing down, maybe I can force myself to start blogging again? I hope. It is a good way for me to things outta my head, but sometimes it can come back to bite me in the ass. Some people have access to reading my posts, and I feel at times I have to filter my thoughts, and I don't want to sit here to type everything out just to make it private, so...who knows?!? I have thought about deleting this account and starting a new one, but...apparently at this moment I am too stupid for that. lol. Then I think...well, do I really want to go through all that?? Yeah, probably, readers beware...If you feel like something is directed towards you, it very possibly could be, but I will try to refrain from using names.